Well, I can hardly believe that summer is over. Backpacks and school supplies and new school clothes have been purchased, sorted, labelled and packed. We had a glorious long weekend full of football, family BBQ's and a fun day of golf. (Hubby took the big boys to golf nine holes and the littles and I went mini-golfing).
Now, fall reality sinks in. Back to routines, early bedtimes, packing lunches and soon enough fall activites.
The excitement has been palpable the last few days. On Tuesday evening, new clothes were carefully selected by each child and laid out for the morning. Special snacks for "first day of school lunches" were lovingly packed and ingredients for back-to-school breakfasts were purchased and assembled by this mother with mixed emotions.
There is a part of me that looks forward to the structure and routine that the school year brings. It feels like a time of renewal and fresh beginnings.
I love the anticipation I saw in the kids and remembered that feeling, that very sensation in my body.
I remember being that little girl, agonizing over what to wear on that important first day; the excitement of crisp new clothes, squeaky new shoes and all of the wonder and hope that it accompanied.
I remember that little knot in my belly and the tightness in my chest, the feeling of millions of butterflies flittering around my tummy as I wondered who would be in my class, who would I sit with, would I like my new teacher? It is a visceral thing, I feel it in every part of me... sometimes.
Then there are those other times. The times, like Tuesday evening, that I am short and cross. Those times... after the third glass of water is asked for, the second pee break requested, the bazillionth time I hear "Mom...I can't find my guy!! ...it's too dark! ...or too light! ... or too cold! ... or too hot!" I get angry and snap at them because I want them to be well rested and ready for their big day. I want them to be quiet so the others can sleep. I want them to stay in bed when they have been lovingly tucked in, read to, cuddled and kissed. Sometimes I just want them to STAY IN BED!
*sigh*
I have moments when I wish summer would never end. I long for more time to stay up late, sleep in, have pajama days and host sleep overs and all the fun things that summer means. I love our long praire summer evenings and the toning down of scheduled activities, meetings and appointments.
But, all good things must come to an end, I suppose, and sooner or later the lack of routine might drive me over the edge. Maybe :)
When Wednesday morning arrived, I was reminded again of the excitement of the day. I remembered how I often had a hard time falling asleep the night before the first day of school, so pumped full of adrenaline and nervous energy and I felt guilty for being such a hard-ass the night before. Oh well. It seemed that all had been forgiven (or forgotten) and we went on with the day.
Breakfast was eaten ...waffles and whip cream and berries mmmmmm.
Just so we are clear, it is not everyday that the kids get a hot breakfast and it was only toaster waffles (Super Mom, I am not) but for the first day of school, at least, I will have send them off with more than just cold cereal and juice in their stomachs.
I double and triple checked backpacks and lunch kits, shoe laces and sweaters.
And then they were off..
Off to Grade One
Off to Grade Four
And off to Grade Six
(The teenager is far too cool to participate in the first day of school pictures now *sigh* Off to Grade Ten for him)
Here they are...
And there they go...
Off to learn and grow and explore and expand in a world that I have little control of.
Believe me, there is a part of me that would like to keep them at home forever and I mourn this passing of a new year, but seeing how excited they were yesterday as that school bus pulled up to take them to their new school and then hearing about the best parts of their day when they returned was the pay off.
Watching my kids traverse this new transition with such joy reminds me to do the same. As an adult, so much time is often been spent "not doing" for fear of....what? Failure? Embarrassment? Ego? Hmmm...
This is my children's gift and lesson for me today.
